Forgiveness: The Sword We Don’t Use Enough

“Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” — Colossians 3:13

Forgiveness isn’t neat and tidy. It’s messy, it’s uncomfortable, and it’s a fight. And I’ve been swinging in that fight for years.

I thought I had already dealt with the hardest stuff. I thought I had laid down the people who broke me the most. But God has this way of circling back to the places we’d rather avoid, digging up the wounds we’ve carefully buried, and asking: “Are you finally ready to let this go?”

That’s exactly what happened a few weeks ago when my daughter said the name of a woman I had spent years resenting—my ex-husband’s now ex-wife.

Her name alone felt heavy. When she came into our story, her choices helped put distance between my ex and our girls. And as their mom, that cut deep. I didn’t just get hurt—I watered that hurt. I let it take root until bitterness became my well-kept garden.

But here’s the thing: God doesn’t let us stay in the places that harden us. He loves us too much for that. And if He has to, He’ll drag us out mascara-streaked and kicking, because He knows what that bitterness will cost us if we keep it.

Last week, hiking Catalina Island, I had more quiet time with Him than I’ve had in a long time. Mile after mile, He kept bringing her face back to my mind.

And when I got home, I couldn’t shake it. I had this overwhelming need to tell my mom and my sister what I’d been carrying. I needed to say it out loud, let go of it, and ask them to pray for me. Because sometimes the only way to loosen the grip of bitterness is to drag it out into the light where it can’t hide anymore.

It wasn’t until the other day, sitting in my car—my little sanctuary where I get my best one-on-one time with Jesus—that it hit me. Out of nowhere, something I had never realized before came crashing down: If my daughter, the one who was rejected, the one who was hurt, can forgive her… then why can’t I?

That one stung.

The fact is, my daughter had every reason to harbor bitterness. She had every excuse to hold on to resentment. And yet she didn’t. Meanwhile, I’ve been out here polishing my grudge like it was some kind of prize trophy.

That’s when I had to laugh at myself a little—not because it’s funny, but because of how stubborn pride makes us look. Forgiveness isn’t about the other person finally admitting they were wrong. Forgiveness is about obedience. It’s about surrender. It’s about trusting God enough to pry our fingers off the pain we’ve been white-knuckling for far too long.

And let me tell you, forgiveness isn’t weak. It’s war. It’s a weapon. Every time we forgive, we tear down bitterness, we disarm the enemy, and we remind him he doesn’t get to win.

So here’s the reminder God pressed on me that day in my car: when I pick up the sword of forgiveness, I’m not just setting someone else free. I’m setting myself free. I’m stepping back into the victory I already know—the victory Jesus gave me.

Ladies, it’s time to fight back. Not with grudges. Not with gossip. Not with bitterness. But with forgiveness. The sharpest sword we’ve been given.

Pick it up. Swing it. Slay the enemy with it. And watch God rewrite the story you thought was over.

Because forgiveness doesn’t just change the past. It changes everything.

My Prayer:

Jesus,

You see the wounds I’ve carried, the grudges I’ve manicured, the bitterness I’ve nurtured. And You love me too much to let me stay there. Thank You for showing me the example of my daughter, for using her strength to pierce my pride. Jesus, I lay this person, this pain, this anger at Your feet. Put the sword of forgiveness in my hands and teach me how to use it. Let me walk in freedom, not captivity. In Your name, I choose to forgive.

Amen.

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