Anything?

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” — Psalm 139:23-24

Several weeks ago, my sister sent me a screenshot of a book: Anything by Jennie Allen. She casually mentioned she was rereading it and thinking about using it for our next Bible study. Ten seconds later—thank you, Amazon—I had my copy ordered. I’ve learned not to question her recommendations on books (or music). Her discernment is usually spot-on.

Fast forward to last night: I’m tucked in bed in Texas, FaceTime pulled up, joining 18 women at Rhythm Church in San Diego. There’s something so beautifully modern about community like that—PJs on this end, a room full of women on the other.

One by one, we introduced ourselves and shared what we hoped to gain from the study. When it was my turn, I simply said I didn’t have any expectations—and I meant it. For me, every book, every study, every verse is another way to sit down with Jesus. He already knows exactly where I’m at—spiritually, emotionally, physically. He knows what needs watering, and He knows what needs weeding.

Then my sweet friend Sarah said something that I wrote down: “Take a moment and write in your journal where you’re at in your life, and what you want from this study. At the end, go back and see what He actually did.” 

You got it, Sarah! DONE.

So here’s my full transparency: I’m in a season of growth. If you’ve followed my blog, you know that about a year and a half ago, I completely surrendered my life back to Jesus. No halfway. 100% sold out. And it’s been the best and hardest decision I’ve ever made.

Since then, He’s walked me through forgiveness. Through releasing anger. Through surrendering my flesh, my wants, my insecurities, my pet peeves—the whole messy lot. And yet, there are still things I grip too tightly. Still things I hate carrying.

So what do I expect? I expect this book to push open the back doors of my heart. To shine a light into the closets where I’ve shoved shame and hidden skeletons. I expect God to ask for all of it. And I believe—truly—that on the other side, there’s freedom. A new kind of reckless freedom in Jesus that leaves me ready for anything.

That’s big for me to even write. But I’m here for it. Because I know everything around me is temporary, and my mission is eternal: to make sure the people I love see the God who redeemed me, who turned my ashes into beauty, who gave me purpose when I had none.

So, ladies—come on this journey with me. Over the next eight weeks, I’ll share the real, the raw, the messy, but always the honest. And I can’t wait to see where God takes us.

My Prayer:

Jesus, thank You for never leaving us where You found us. Thank You for the weeding and the watering, even when it feels uncomfortable. As I step into this study, I surrender the hidden corners of my heart to You. Bring freedom where shame has lived, joy where fear has rooted, and boldness where I’ve hesitated. Make me ready for anything.

Amen.